


Just See What You’ve Done

by CursedEstlin



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Post-Crisis on Infinite Earth, SuperCorp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-25
Updated: 2019-12-10
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:47:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21554101
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CursedEstlin/pseuds/CursedEstlin
Summary: Post-Crisis On Infinite Earths fix - because it’ll need fixing.When all was said and done, it’s not lost upon Kara that she could save multiple universes, but not her relationship with Lena. It was great that they all got to live to see another day. Super, even.Lena and she could continue to exist just to be apart.
Relationships: Kara Danvers & Lena Luthor, Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 93
Kudos: 1115





	1. Just See What You’ve Done

**Author's Note:**

> Just a draft of how things could go after the big show. The title comes from a lyric from the Beach Boys song _Heroes and Villains_.  
> Between Lena begging Kara to see how deeply Lena felt about their friendship and betrayal (“Don't you see what you’ve done?”), DC’s heroes and villains assembling to save the world and the lyric, I thought it was all very serendipitous.

_Hot water rained over Supergirl’s battered body. Dirt and blood and grime sluiced down the drain below. There was a gash on her scalp a few inches above her right ear that stung when the water jet ricocheted off her hair and right into it. In fact, there were a lot of open wounds taking a beating right now. Her heart being the one that hurt the most._

_Crisis over, they could concentrate on rebuilding and honor those they’d lost._

_Collectively, they lost entire populations and worlds. As a family of super heroes they lost Oliver. Earth-22’s Clark/Superman and maybe even more that she just wasn’t aware of yet._

__

__

_Oliver. God, that one hurt._

_Personally, she’d lost Lena. Not to death. Not physically. But emotionally and spiritually? Lena was a ghost. Not that she blamed her. Not when she was responsible for damaging and destroying Lena’s capacity to love and trust. Not when Lena had been clear that she wanted nothing to do with her._

_It was true they worked on the same side to save multiple universes including their own, but not together. Lena seemed to have a Kara sized blind spot. Never looking at her, but not really avoiding her, either. Kara just didn’t exist to her best friend anymore._

_She tried to respect Lena’s decision. Tried not to look like a wounded animal every time Lena so much as looked in her general direction. She kept a more than respectful distance between them at all times, listened attentively but tried not to hang on to every word Lena said as if she were clinging to the sound of her voice. She doesn’t want to assume anything where Lena is concerned anymore since she misread and fumbled everything she thought she knew before - but she doesn’t think she angered Lena further with her mere presence, at least._

_Unbeknownst to Kara, Lois observed and latched on to her stilted actions and heavy heart. Kara was over the same moon that seemed to be crushing her as she cradled Jon tenderly, showering the infant with kisses and praise and soaking up his charm and innocence._

_“What’s up with Kara? She looks like she lost her best friend,” she commented when Kara left with Batwoman to follow a lead. Never slow on the uptake Lois quickly read the room, from Alex’s tense shoulders to Lena’s rigid posture. “Oh, man,” she turned to Lena. “Did you guys break up?”_

_Lena ignores her before glancing sideways and icily informing her, “We were never together.”_

_Lois snorts in derision. “Sure you weren’t, kid.” She’s seen the way Kara doted upon Lena. Watched Lena lap it up and return it. And don’t even get her started on how many times she’s heard Kara begin sentences with “Lena says”, or “Lena did”, or the one that makes her eyes roll the most, “Lena knows..”_

_If she were a betting woman, and she was, she’d bet that Lena and Kara had the kind of love people were envious of. The kind that wrote music and Pulitzer prized articles and reverse engineered devices that saved entire planets. The kind that recited poems and changed the world even as they spent evenings cuddled in front of the tv and mornings trading kisses and arguing over whose turn it was to take the trash out. The kind of love you had to be a damn fool to ignore or walk away from._

_“I thought you were the smart Luthor.” Lena could pretend to ignore Lois all she wanted. Lois knew how to get under someone’s skin. It was a talent she’d honed to lethal precision._

_When all was said and done, it’s not lost upon Kara that she could save multiple universes, but not her relationship with Lena. It was great that they all got to live to see another day. Super, even._

_Lena and she could continue to exist just to be apart._

_Truly, she wasn’t that maudlin or selfish to overlook that life was a miracle, even when it didn’t feel like it. Even when it left her with nothing more to do than break down in the shower._

_She took great heaving breaths, struggling with her bruised ribs to get some oxygen. Her lungs felt collapsed and she couldn’t draw a breath no matter how hard she tried._

_Her head felt heavier and heavier, darkness closing in on her vision and psyche. Leg muscles cramped and froze under the stress and she had to brace herself from falling to her knees._

_Everything hurt. It hurt before the crisis started. It hurt before her showdown with Rama Kahn. It started with the fortress of solitude and being abandoned by Lena and the knowledge that she’d wounded her best friend so deeply and the pain steadily grew from there._

_She jolts when a warm hand rests between her shoulder blades and is powerless to do anything about the arm that goes around her upper body and another around her waist. A warm body presses against her, keeping her from dropping, the curves obviously female. “Alex?” she squeaks out, hoping its not her sisters breasts she feels against her naked back._

_There’s an amused breath against her skin. “Not Alex,” Lena murmurs. “Even your breathing out or you’re going to pass out,” she warns._

One by one, the universe’s heroes and villains came through the transmat portal, progressively looking more battered as they trickled in. Lena watched from afar, a bubble of anxiety lodged firmly between her throat and chest growing each time Kara didn’t appear. Earth-38 was the designated hub to return to and check in before heading home. 

The DEO assembled around the gate, all standing at attention to welcome them. Lena knew that Kara and Alex had been separated at some point, they were needed on different earths. It wasn’t surprising therefore, to see Alex come through the gate first, throw her arms around Kelly and then watch her turn immediately around to wait for Kara.

Superman appeared next, quickly engulfed by Lois and she watched him close his eyes in gratitude that he was able to hold his world again. Then his eyes opened and Lena knew in an instant that something was wrong. His eyes found Alex and she came to the same conclusion. She could see Alex questioning him, asking where she was. Where’s Kara? Is she coming? Is she hurt? Is it .. worse than that? 

Clark let go of Lois, holding on to Alex’s arms while he spoke. Lena's heart rate decreased only a fraction when Alex didn’t immediately crumble. 

She instead touched her earpiece and rapidly barked out orders. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as she feared? But still bad, if the look on their faces were anything to go by. 

She wanted to know. She wanted to be there, to be present for whatever was happening. To help. To be there when Kara came home. But she couldn’t. She drew her line in the sand and painted herself into this corner.

To say she was shocked when Lex came strolling through the gate was an understatement. He looked amused as weapon after weapon quickly unholstered and aimed at his chest, including Alex’s. “This is the thanks I get for saving the world from alien invasion and imminent disaster? Again, I might add!”

He’s cuffed immediately and Superman gently pushes Alex’s weapon down, standing close enough to say something that’s obviously meant for Alex’s ears only. Alex looks down, her expression unreadable before she raises her head and looks around, looking for.. her? Oh. Lex follows her gaze and spots his sister. 

“Don’t look so surprised, sis. You know you can’t keep a good Luthor down,” he calls out to her, almost making her wish she could shoot him again. 

Alex says something to the agents leading Lex away and they lead him straight to her, allowing them a few moments to speak. “How are you here?” Lena questions. 

“You mean, how am I alive after you shot me in the chest?” He’s so disgustingly smug. How was she ever comforted by him? “I am more valuable, even dead, than you are alive, dear sister. All though, I do have to hand it to you. 

“Supergirl as good as dead because of you was even better than watching her actually die to protect me. You should have seen her. Fighting and running like a racehorse until her heart gave up and she was just _dead_. No heartbeat, no signs of life at all!” Lex clapped his hands together with obvious glee. “And then she just got back up and got the crap knocked out of her over and over until she inconceivably won. 

“It was deeply satisfying to watch her die. But that lifeless and broken look in her eyes when I asked about you before it all started? You must have eviscerated her as only a Luthor is capable of.” Lex closes his eyes in ecstasy and takes a deep breath through his nose before leveling his maniac gaze at her. “That was worth getting shot for.”

He laughs in her face when she slaps him. Not that she even realized she had. “Get him away from me,” she tells the agents, not recognizing her own voice. She’s too angry, too upset, too heartbroken to move. Has been for weeks, but she just keeps pushing. 

She should leave. Go home to her empty apartment, or maybe go to her lab and work. On something. Anything. She doesn’t really see a purpose in it, but it’s all she knows at this point.

Instead she stays. She stays when J’onn comes through the gate carrying what looks like a red duffel bag in his arms. Too late, she realizes the unmoving mass is actually a bloodied and beaten Kara wrapped in Superman’s cape. 

She rushes towards her before she remembers she can’t. 

She shouldn’t care. 

She wouldn’t dare. 

She stays to see her whisked away on a gurney. Supergirl is semi-conscious, at least. Alex is beside her, holding her hand. She wants to be holding the other. 

That desire reaches up and slaps her across the face just as hard as she’d slapped Lex. None of this is what she wanted. She never wanted to love Kara and Supergirl and grow to hate one and then both when she learned the truth. She never asked Kara to make her care about her. 

She stays for another three hours even though she’s well passed being dead on her feet. Finding Brainy and helping him catalog and download data collected from alternate universes should be fascinating, really. There’s much to learn and explore, but she honestly couldn’t care less right then. Her true purpose, whether she admits it to herself or anyone else, is to find out if Kara is okay. And maybe catch a glimpse of her. 

It seems her concern is all for naught as she makes her way to the medical wing only to discover Supergirl has already left. Against medical advice, naturally. But she’s gone. Lena’s jaw clenches in frustration and she forces back the tears she knows are trying to break free. 

She turns to leave and runs smack dab into a DEO agent with an extra large iced crappasomething. It goes everywhere. Up her neck, down her blouse, all over her pants and shoes. 

“Ms Luthor! I am so sorry,” the agent hastily apologized, mortified over the incident. They produce a single tissue to try to clean up the mess and dab at Lena’s blouse with no effect other than enraging her further. 

“Stop. Touching me.” Eyes as large as saucers blink in comprehension once before the agent nearly trips in their haste to escape with their life. “Absolutely perfect!” Lena snaps, shaking the excess coffee from her hands. Her foot slips in the coffee puddle and she squeakily regains control. 

The shower room is close by. She can wash this sticky, disgusting mess off and finally be done with this day. And she would, except the access card she was issued is suddenly and inexplicably not working. The panel controlling the door lock flashes red and denies her entrance. She tries it again and again until she hears Alex clear her throat behind her. 

“Mind telling me why you’re making a mess all over my floors?”

“Because one of your clumsy agents dumped a gallon of Starbucks all over me and _this_ isn’t working,” Lena spits out slowly, dangling her access card from her fingertips. 

She’s reasonably certain that Alex is going to tell her ‘tough luck’. ‘Too bad.’ ‘Not my problem’, or a million other pithy quips. Instead she reaches around Lena with her own card and the lock flashes green and disengages. 

“Why do you even keep the showers locked anyway?” Lena mutters, pushing her way inside without another word to Alex. 

“Because Kara’s in there,” Alex tells the wind. She stares at the closed door another beat, wondering if she should have stayed out of it. She honestly can’t deal with either of their angst any more. It was killing her. It was killing _them_. Both sides messed up. Both sides were aware of it now. Both sides needed to get it together. 

There’s a locker room area to go through before the showers are reached. Lena pauses by a locker with ‘LL’ embossed on the nameplate. She presses her thumb to the biometric lock and opens the door. She’s relieved to see clean clothes inside and pulls her hair back, twisting it into a messy bun. She peels her blouse off, just wanting to be rid of the coffee drenched fabric sticking to her skin and notices she’s not alone. It’s to be expected, of course. There were stalls enough for five to shower at once. Why should her card be the only one not working. 

She thinks nothing of it and reaches for the zipper on her slacks, pushing those and her trouser socks down and off to join her ruined blouse on the floor. Through her own haze of emotions she hears whomever is in the shower doing some heavy breathing and prays she’s not walking in on someone fwapping away when she just wants to mind her own damn business. 

She grabs a couple of DEO supplied towels and makes her way to the stalls, still in her bra and underwear. Her dread has turned to curiosity and then concern. It’s not just heavy breathing anymore. The breaths have gotten shorter and faster, and also? The person is absolutely sobbing. 

Shit. It’s Kara. She would know that blonde hair and the line of Kara’s shoulders anywhere. She should have known better when her card didn’t work. Alex was giving Supergirl some privacy, so why did she let her in?

She’s about to turn on her heels, coffee mess be damned. But she’s drawn closer. She can’t look away. She can see over the stalls privacy door that Kara’s shoulders are slumped forward as her head hangs down. There’s some good sized bruises peeking out from under her hair and Lena imagines they probably extend further than what she can see. 

The longer she witnessed this, the more sick she felt. She wanted to see Kara in pain, didn’t she? For the person she loved - _loves_ \- to suffer the consequences of her actions. To experience what she felt. 

She got what she wanted. She’s been acutely tuned in to Kara’s pain echoing her own the entire time. Every day. All day. And she never felt worse. 

Kara slaps a hand against the wall. Lena can see her knuckles are bruised, swollen and raw as they try to hold on to something. Anything. The smooth surface offers up nothing. 

She’s well into a full blown panic attack. Lena wouldn’t be surprised if she ends up hyperventilating and loses consciousness at this point and that would be unpleasant if she’s got any rib injuries. 

She should turn around and find Alex and let her know what’s happening and give her a piece of her mind for creating this situation while she’s at it. 

She should .. absolutely not get in the stall with Kara. 

But here she is. Standing behind Kara and not staring too much at her lovely ass. Not following the map of scrapes and bruises all over her body and just concentrating on how to approach Kara without making it worse for her. She can see the way her muscles are beginning to seize that she needs to act quickly. 

Kara’s so lost she didn’t even hear her get in with her. She reaches out and adjusts the water temperature, making it a little cooler. The overwhelming heat wasn’t helping anything. Again, Kara is oblivious. 

She places a tentative hand on Kara’s back, staying far enough away that she doesn’t get smacked when Kara realizes she’s not alone and then does her best to hold her up once Kara is aware of her presence. 

She cracks a smile when Kara worriedly croaks out her sisters name. “Not Alex,” she assures her. “Even your breathing out or you’re going to pass out,” she warns, encouraging Kara to lean more heavily against her. 

“What are you doing?” Kara manages to articulate. “Why are you here?”

“I’m where I need to be. Now, slow, deep breaths. All the way out before you breathe in, okay?”

Kara flinches in her hold and Lena realizes that yes, there’s definitely some rib injury. “Sorry,” she whispers, loosening up a fraction. “Why haven’t you healed?”

“Solar flare,” Kara answers as if she should know what that means. She doesn’t. She gives Kara a few minutes of controlled breathing before she asks what that means. “I blew out my powers.”

“Temporarily?” Kara nods limply. “Because you died?”

“This happened after that,” Kara answers.

Lena doesn’t know how to react to Kara’s nonchalance that she was dead for a while. _She_ doesn’t know how to come back from that knowledge. Instead she focuses on the issue in front of her. “How long?”

Kara shrugs minutely. “Til they come back. Sometimes it takes a few days. This is the best time to kill me if you’re going to try,” Kara tells her and it feels like a punch to the gut. Not because Kara is revealing that information, but she’s actually leaving herself wide open for Lena to do it. “Why are you here?” Kara asks again a minute later.

“Can’t you just let me be?” Lena responds, feeling the way Kara is no longer relying on her to stay on her feet and it.. aches to lose that connection. 

“Not if you’re just going to walk away again,” Kara pushes Lena’s arms off and takes a small step forward and away from her. There’s no where else for her to go in the small stall, but she doesn’t turn around. She can’t look at Lena without breaking again. “Thank you. I’m fine now. You should go.”

Lena is shaking her head even though Kara can’t see it. She doesn’t even realize her body is reacting to being asked to leave. “Do you want me to go?” She hates how vulnerable and desperate she sounds. How one word, a rejection, would bring her to her actual knees right now. 

She hears Kara’s breath catch, sees how her body takes the question as a physical blow and there’s a visceral reaction beyond her control. She steps closer, hands holding Kara’s hips and her forehead drops into the graceful dip between Kara’s shoulders. 

“Please don’t hurt me anymore,” she begs her best friend, moving closer when Kara takes her hands and pulls at them until Lena’s arms are around her waist. 

“I won’t,” Kara promises. “You too,” she negotiates.

Lena nods her agreement against Kara’s back and they’re content to remain there in the artificial rain and let it wash away their sins against one another.

“I don’t know how much longer I can stand,” Kara warns after a time.

“Oh! Of course,” Lena quickly apologizes, reaching for the body wash and squeezing a generous amount in her hands before handing the bottle to Kara. “You get the front, I’ll get the back,” she volunteers, carefully sweeping her hands over Kara’s back and shoulders. She’s careful not to venture too far outside of friendly contact and finishes quickly. 

“Do you smell like coffee?” Kara wondered a moment later, pausing in her own efforts to clean herself. 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Lena says quickly with a bit of a pout, causing Kara to smile faintly and resume her washing. 

Whatever initial shyness Lena had about being naked with Kara is gone now as she shrugs out of her soaked bra and panties. She grabs Kara’s bodywash for herself this time and lathers up, observing Kara wince when she tries to raise her arms too high or bends too far at the waist and finds herself stepping in to help again. “Let me do your hair?” They both know there’s quite a bit of dirt and blood in her blonde locks. 

“Yes, please,” Kara answers quietly, just letting her hands fall to her sides and allowing Lena to take over. “Ouch. Ouch!” She grits her teeth when Lena’s fingers brush over the gash above her ear and another on the back of her scalp. 

“I’m trying to be careful, but I want to make sure we get all the dirt out,” Lena apologizes. 

It only takes a couple more minutes before Lena is steering her back under the water to rinse the shampoo and then they’re done. 

Lena gets out first and quickly dries off before wrapping the towel around her torso and tucking the end between her breasts. 

She turns her attention back to Kara, gasping involuntarily when she sees her face for the first time. Her left eye is heavily bruised and the normally white area surrounding her blue iris is a worrying shade of dark red.

“Does your doctor know you have a subconjunctival hemorrhage?” Lena reaches out and carefully touches the swollen flesh around Kara’s eye.

Her lip is split wide open, too, but that’s much less frightening (to Lena).

Kara nods. “The broken vessel in my eye? She knows. It’s not affecting my vision and there’s not much they can do about it. It just looks bad.”

Lena’s worried expression remains. Supergirl is littered with dark red and purple bruises that are still forming. “Are you sure you shouldn’t be back in the medical ward?”

“It’s just a few bruised ribs and a bump on the head. I really want my own space and couch and to not have my butt hanging out of a gown,” Kara defends. 

Lena can’t argue with that. She does manage not to smile too much when she compliments her with a shy shrug of her shoulder and slight head tilt. “It’s a really nice butt.”

Kara immediately touches the split on her lip. “Ow! Don’t make me smile,” she whines, continuing to grin.

Lena squeezes the excess water out of Kara’s hair and carefully runs the towel over Kara’s skin, trying not to see too much or look too long at breasts and bruises and washboard abs and perfectly trimmed -

“Do you have a locker here?” Lena hopes her voice is more steady than the rest of her feels. 

“Yeah, it’s next to yours,” Kara admits sheepishly, raising her elbows slightly so Lena can tuck her towel around her. She holds on to Kara’s arm and they slowly make their way back to their lockers where Lena stops herself from fretting too much as Kara begins the painful process of putting clothes on.

Kara unabashedly watches Lena get dressed even as Lena _tries_ to not watch her. It makes Kara smile to be this close to Lena again and not to feel anger emanating from her. Lena catches her looking and neither look away. “What?”

“What?” Kara repeats unhelpfully, still watching her. “That wasn’t how I imagined our first shower together,” she confesses before turning bright red. _What the hell??_ Maybe she bumped her head hard enough that she should just stop talking. Or maybe her pain meds were kicking in and she should definitely and absolutely keep her mouth shut. 

Lena looks at her for a long time and Kara can’t tell what she’s thinking but the whole thing is making her want to climb into her locker and shut the door. Finally Lena shrugs her comment off and goes back to dressing with nothing more than a non-committal hum.

Kara’s heart sinks a little and then soars when Lena continues to have trouble keeping her eyes off her. Kara foregoes a bra in the name of comfort and practicality. She’s just going home to rest and doesn’t see the point of angering her ribs for the sake of propriety. Lena helps her slip a black tank top over her head and then zips a DEO softshell jacket matching her own a moment later.

It’s more awkward now that they’re both dressed than when they were naked. Though Kara seems to have no trouble looking pretty hard at Lena in her black skinny jeans and olive green sweater. 

At least before there was momentum and they were moving towards a goal. Goal reached, things seemed to stall out between them. 

What now? Where were they in relation to what they were to each other? Were they going to work together to rebuild what was lost, or just work together professionally when they were called upon to do so?

All Kara knows with certainty is the thought of being separated from Lena makes her feel physically ill. “Come home with me?” Kara breaks the silence, more hopeful and open than Lena can ever recall seeing. “I mean, I get if it’s too much or too soon. I just really don’t want to say goodbye right now. Or anytime soon. Not when I just got you back,” Kara finishes quietly, voice barely above a whisper. “You are back, aren’t you?”

There’s a fragility in Kara’s questions and Lena answers her last question with a nod of the head even as she still considers the first. She was the one to walk away and enforce a no contact rule and while it was easy at first, it quickly became brutal and unbearable.

She couldn’t imagine leaving Kara right now, whether it be here, or dropping her off at home. But maybe she shouldn’t rush, _they_ shouldn’t rush whatever reconciliation was happening between them. She opens her mouth to tell Kara this, already reading the disappointed expression when Kara suddenly announces that she has eight pints of ice cream in her freezer.

Someone’s been grief eating. She can sympathize. She’s been doing the opposite and starving her feelings.

She’s aware that Kara’s waiting for her answer. She’s aware she has a choice to make. A chance to take. 

“Don’t be ridiculous. You can’t eat all that ice cream on your own.” (They both know she can.) 

The weight of her answer - the words used - knocks the breath from Kara’s lungs but she recovers quickly and soberly. “I have always loved you, Lena. Right from the start. I’m gonna get it right this time,” Kara vows and it’s not against every fiber of Lena’s being to believe her. It’s the most overwhelming sense of truth and comfort that’s ever possessed her. 

“I want to believe you,” Lena confesses, because it’s true. She wants more than anything to believe Kara. But the trust just isn’t there yet. For either of them. 

But it could be, in time. 

“We have to get it right this time. Because I can’t lose myself and you again.”

Kara nods in full agreement before reaching out and pulling Lena close. “One more thing,” Kara’s breath and her lips brush against Lena’s ear. “You have always been _my_ hero. You save me when I can’t save myself. You are the reason I get to be a reporter. You are the best friend and boss that kept me going after Mon-El. You saved my mother and what’s left of my home planet. You made it possible to kick Rama Kahn’s ass. You saved entire planets today and billions of lives. You filled my office with flowers and made me feel confident and loved and I am so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I’m gonna make sure you know stuff like this all the time now.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t or won’t keep,” Lena warns with gentle conviction.

“I’m not,” Kara answers determinedly. “There’s so much I wanted to share and couldn’t before. And that was my own fault.”

Lena’s arms slip around Kara, mindful not to hug her too tightly. Kara’s hand slides into her hair, warm against her ear as she pulls Lena’s face up to meet her own. Their noses brush against each other’s and they just stay there, more intimate than either of them have experienced in a while. 

She knows she needs to get Kara home. She really shouldn’t be on her feet any longer than she has to be. Lena’s sad to back away, but she also has the feeling there will be more moments like this with Kara in their near future. 

Alex is waiting outside when they exit, eyes downcast on the freshly mopped floor. She’s leaned against the opposite wall, a small paper bag in her hand. There’s a myriad of thoughts going through her head as she observes them standing closely together and she assumes things went well, but she doesn’t ask or comment. For now. 

“I grabbed your prescriptions for you. They gave you a pretty good dose of antibiotics earlier, but there’s more here, and some pain relievers, too. Are you ready to go?”

Lena and Kara glance briefly at each other before Lena speaks up. “I’ll take her home, Alex.”

Interesting. 

“She shouldn’t be by herself with her concussion and mobility issues,” Alex warns. “Butt peeking out of a gown or not, you should be taking up a bed in my med bay,” she tells her sister.

“I’ll keep an eye on her tonight and check in with you tomorrow,” Lena assures her, taking the bag that Alex holds out to her. 

“She gets pretty loopy with pain meds and she should eat something when she takes them, otherwise it makes her feel sick.” She wants to add that Kara hates anything on her legs when she’s taking pain meds too, but eh, Lena will figure that out pretty quickly. “She should stay ahead of the pain if possible. One tablet every four hours and she just had one about an hour ago.”

Lena smiles at the protective big sister. “Got it.”

“Thanks for today, Lena. We couldn’t have done this without your help,” Alex offers, sincere. 

Lena nods and asks about her own sibling. “What’s going to happen to Lex?”

“Nothing for right now. He’s in custody because that’s technically where he should be and would have been if he hadn’t died. It’ll be up to the courts to uphold or re-sentence him, but its going to take a while before things are up and running again. He’ll remain here until then.”

Kara’s hand is warm on Lena’s back, even through a couple layers of fabric. She would normally not invite and discourage any contact. Lex related business was better handled alone, but the comfort and strength it lent was welcomed. She nods her thanks to Alex before focusing back on Kara. “Let’s get you home.”

Kara pokes her sister until Alex wraps her up in a big sister hug and they hold on to each other until Alex is sniffing suspiciously and has watery eyes. “I love you,” she tells her. 

“Love you,” Kara replies, snagging Lena’s hand when Alex let’s go of her. Alex reads Lena’s surprise at the action, but she doesn’t let go when she leads Kara away. 

Getting Kara into the car became a challenge when every movement draws a pained gasp. When it was over, Kara was a shaky mess, reclined most of the way back and only just keeping herself from spilling tears. Lena felt awful, but there wasn’t anything she could do to make it easier short of hiring an ambulance to take her home in. She gives the option careful consideration before dismissing it. She’s already in the car. They were just going to have to battle through it as best they could in the name of getting her home as soon as possible. 

“Are you hungry? We can find a drive thru or I can take you home and go back out for groceries,” Lena offers. 

Kara doesn’t have much of an appetite, but she hasn’t eaten in a while and she’s not sure when Lena last ate either. “Big Belly?”

Her appetite returns when Lena’s placing an order for them. She keeps adding to it. Onion rings. Loaded fries. Sweet potato fries. Cinnamon buns. Cookies. A brisket burger with extra cheese. Lena just shakes her head and relays her order. “And some pink lemonade,” Kara finishes. 

“And two pink lemonades, please,” Lena concludes, full on grinning at the outrageous amount of food they just ordered and admiring the beauty of not having to specify what size she wanted everything. There was just one size at Big Belly Burger. Big.

Getting Kara out of the car and into her apartment turns out to be easier now that her pain meds seem to have kicked fully in. Lena leads her over to her couch before going to the kitchen to get their food sorted. When she turns around it’s just in time to see Kara stepping out of her sweatpants and kicking them in the direction of her laundry hamper before she nestled into a pile of blankets and pillows on the couch, wincing and letting loose a surprisingly impressive combo of cuss words. 

“No pants?” Lena comments as she brings Kara a portion of food to start on. 

“Leg prisons, Lena,” she corrects. “The same way bras are just boob jails.”

“I see.” Kara had obviously given her argument a lot of thought. Who was she to disagree even if it meant she was once again in close confines with a mostly undressed Kara.

“It’s not like you haven’t seen it all anyway,” Kara rationalizes and boy, she really should stop voicing everything in her head.

“Eat your burger, honey,” Lena instructs her, fondness lacing her words. She shoots Alex a quick text, thanking her for the non existent pants warning and receives an almost instant response of a thumbs up emoji and a _You’re welcome_.

Kara makes it through her first burger and makes a respectable dent in the variety of fried foods they brought home, but Lena can see her losing steam. Her chewing slows. Her eyes stay closed for a full second or two when she blinks. It won’t be long before Kara crashes. 

It’s so natural to her that she doesn’t think about not reaching out until she’s already rubbing Kara’s arm. “Time for bed?”

Kara nods, wiggling down further in her spot in the corner of the couch. 

“You’re sleeping out here?” Lena wonders, thinking the bed would be more comfortable to convalesce in.

“Hurts to lie all the way down. Sitting up feels better,” Kara explains. 

Lena understands now, she’s just wondering if that means _she’s_ taking the bed. She gathers up their leftovers and takes care of straightening up. It doesn’t take long and Lena takes a few minutes to set up some alarms on her phone to keep her pain med schedule and to monitor for concussion symptoms. Kara was in good hands. 

She thinks it should feel strange to be back in Kara’s home and moving around so freely. As if it would feel unfamiliar or uncomfortable, or like she would feel like an imposter being there and being with Kara. Instead it’s warm and comfortable and Kara has been nothing but gracious and kind, if not a little goofier than normal but that only charms her more. 

She goes around and shuts off the main lights, leaving a couple dim lamps on for Kara’s benefit when she’ll inevitably need to get up. She ends up grabbing Kara’s discarded sweatpants, trading them out for her jeans as she gets herself ready for bed. 

She assumes the stillness and the silence throughout the apartment means Kara has fallen asleep but sees that she’s not sleeping at all. Her eyes are open but she’s not focused on anything. 

Lena rests a concerned hand in Kara’s hair. “Hey. Are you okay?”

“No.” All traces of goofyKara are gone. In her place is a woman Lena hasn’t seen before. A woman who is able to openly grieve in front of her over the losses Supergirl experienced. “It’s been a long day,” she says finally. 

Lena helps brace and support Kara’s weight when she sees her struggling to sit up fully. Once she’s confident Kara is as comfortable as she can be in her current position, Lena settles in close beside her, their bodies resting against each other. It’s vastly different than the last time they sat together on the couch at Lena’s, just a couple of weeks ago, and so much better. 

Kara shares her soft blanket with Lena, dropping her head on her shoulder and a weary sigh leaves her when their fingers tangle together.

“Did you know them both well?” Lena asks after a long silence between them. Her voice is barely more than a whisper in the quiet and early hours of a new day. 

“Superman, not so much. Today was our first time meeting. But Oliver? Yeah. He and Barry and I have gotten thrown together a few times before. He was a good man. Superman was too, I’m sure, but there was something very specific and driven about Oliver. We were married in one of the parallel timelines and I can see how that would be appealing.”

Lena feels her hackles raise even as she schooled herself not to sound jealous, merely curious. “Oh. So you two...?”

“No. Not me. That was a completely alternate version of us. They were nazi’s,” Kara reveals, “soldiers for The Fatherland. In this timeline he was married to Felicity, who I think you met?”

Lena nods, her mind still reeling over Kara’s revelation about her parallel existence. “Overwatch. She’s brilliant,” she compliments, heartbroken for a woman she barely knows.

“They just had a little girl,” Kara’s chin wobbles, thinking of how their daughter wouldn’t get the chance to grow up knowing him. “Mia.” 

The tears come in droves then, different then the hostile tears shed in the shower earlier. She felt safe now. Both comfortable and comforted by Lena wrapping her arm around her and carefully tucking her head against her shoulder. 

“Is this okay? I’m not hurting you, am I?” Lena worried.

“This is good,” Kara answered, being careful not to stretch too far as she wraps her arm around Lena’s waist.

“I got to hold Jon while Lois terrorized one of her sources,” Lena reports, trying to lighten Kara’s darkness. 

“You did? Me too! He’s so tiny and perfect and adorable and he smells so good.” She can feel and hear Kara’s excited smile. “When Kal was a baby, he had this ridiculous curl that hung down in the middle of his forehead. I thought it was just my aunt and uncle doing that to him, but nope. Lois said Kal has to use copious amounts of hair gel to get that curl to blend in. Jon has it, too, but not as pronounced.”

Lena smiles widely as she listens to Kara talk about her family so freely. A wave of sadness washes briefly over her that this is how it could have been all along. 

But they can’t go back. They can’t rewrite what’s already happened. They can choose to build anew and grow together. The fact that she knows something so random and mundane about a superhero feels like a pretty strong indication they’re getting it right so far.

“He’s pretty cute,” Lena agreed and they fall back into a comfortable silence.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Kara whispers against her skin and the words scribble tendrils of warmth directly into her chest. 

“Me too.” Lena unconsciously tightens her arms around Kara and draws a pained breath from her. “Sorry! Sorry,” she quickly apologizes, her arms going slack around her. 

“It’s not your fault. But.. I do need to move,” Kara regretfully informs her. 

“Of course!” Lena disentangles herself as carefully as she can and helps Kara to settle among her pillows against the arm of the couch. She makes sure Kara’s tucked under her blankets and turns to leave. Kara reaches out for her hand, stopping her. 

“Where are you going? Stay here,” it wasn’t a question. 

“Where?” Lena eyes the space left on the couch critically.

“Right here,” Kara pulls the blanket back and pats her chest. “The weight makes it easier to breathe,” Kara mentions at Lena’s dubious expression. 

Well. If it was medical purposes. Lena supposed she should go along with it. “Don’t move,” she warns when Kara tries to shift over to give her more room between her and the couch. “Let me figure out the logistics and you stay put.”

Lena places her left knee between Kara’s legs and swings her body over Kara, carefully maneuvering around until she’s not laying directly on Kara, but off to the side. Her head shares both Kara’s pillow and her shoulder, her left arm resting just under Kara’s breasts. 

“Is this too much? Am I hurting you?”

Kara shakes her head, turning her face towards Lena’s. “This is perfect,” she promises, stretching just enough to lay a kiss right over one of Lena’s expressive brows. Lena lips curl upward and she hums at the contact, moving her head to return a kiss along Kara’s jaw.

“Lena,” Kara says her name and it’s everything. There’s so much between them. So much left to say. So much potential of love and affection and _trust_ to explore. 

“I know,” Lena assures her, absolutely feeling the pull between them. Their lips meet briefly - sweet and chaste. It’s just a couple of seconds, but there’s an immediate flicker of change shifting between them. “One thing at a time,” Lena stipulated and Kara agrees. 

It’s enough in that moment to know there’s something else between them. Something else that in time, they can look back at and see what they created together.


	2. Where Does The Good Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this chapter finished before the first part of Crisis aired. And then I watched it and lost the will to live. =/
> 
> Enjoy their kisses! :))

The shift between Lena and Kara continues to evolve. What began in the aftermath of the crisis motivated them to do better. To get it right with no secrets lurking between them. 

It’s going extraordinarily well, which can only mean there’s trouble ahead.

In the meantime, there’s more kissing, for one. They agreed they would handle things between them at a “one thing at a time” pace. That evidently translated into pecks hello and goodbye, reassuring and lingering forehead kisses, loud and smoochy cheek kisses that made them both laugh, and noses bumping together in sloppy coordination before their lips touched. (“I’ll stop trying to avoid your bottom lip and bumping your nose when you stop looking like you’re going to cry every time I kiss you,” Lena assures Kara.)

The other thing that’s new is that they talk to each other constantly. They talked regularly before, but not daily. Now, if they’re not physically together, they’re texting or calling. It’s not all random weather observations, pictures of a dragon named Spike, bragging about Ruby’s last game or which pints of ice cream they should destroy next, either.

It’s a steady stream of dialogue with a broad range of topics. There’s heavy talks about their betrayals, both from each other and scars left behind before they met. It’s what their hopes are going forward and how to include each other more. It’s also bad puns, science jokes, teasing and light hearted barbs and an exchange of childhood memories. 

Some of what they shared was wonderful and full of warmth and brightness. Other memories and conclusions hadn’t been unpacked in a while, if ever. They were full of cobwebs and treacherous terrain made better simply by the other person being there, allowing them to have the freedom and courage to ask for and receive whatever they needed in those moments. 

For Supergirl’s safety and in the spirit of full disclosure, Lena reveals Kara’s new boss has a mask of her own. Kara takes that news surprisingly well and teases Lena about being a magnate to meta humans and aliens. Lena scowls and steals the last of the rocky road from her. Kara pouts.

Lena learns more about Kara’s parents and her travels with them as a young girl and the wonders she saw.

Kara learns about Lena’s love for exploration and discovery inspired by her real mom’s stories and the adventures they went on with their minds.

Her actual travels with the Luthor’s paints a much darker picture. There are rules and discipline and appearance meant everything. Especially while traveling and in the public eye. Infractions, no matter how minor were met with an abundance of punishment doled out by Lillian. They were Luthors, after all. 

Kara wasn’t surprised to learn Lillian was emotionally unavailable on a good day. When Lionel wasn’t around, she lashed out verbally at Lena’s birth mother. 

Lena is six when she realizes her step mother regularly refers to her mom as a gold digging whore and thanks to Lionel and Lillian’s monthly cocktail parties attended by white privileged old men and their equally terrible wives and snobby offspring, she knew what those words meant and how her mother was judged by society’s “elite”. Kara’s heart aches for her.

Kara’s father was first and foremost, a scientist. If he couldn’t test it, simulate scenarios and create something with his own two hands, he got bored and broody very quickly and was therefore, always tinkering in his lab. Lena could relate.

Her mother was loving and kind, if not a little stuffy with her rigorous execution of Kryptonian law. If she wanted fun and mischief, she turned to her mothers twin, Aunt Astra. Lena could not relate. 

Lena’s father was kind when he wanted to be but could also be an abusive tyrant when he was on a bender. Lillian was even colder when Lionel was around and that was really saying something. She doesn’t find out why until much much later. But Lionel was often away for weeks at a time and too drunk to be around her much when he was home. Somehow, she still idolized him.

Then there was Lex. A brother who took just a little too much interest in molding her personality to his liking for it to be innocent. 

Lena learned about growing tensions on Krypton between her parents as well as members of their community when it became more and more apparent that the planet wasn’t just dying, it was going to take them all with it, violently and abruptly. No one paid attention when it could have meant something and then it was too late. Not even her parents acknowledge the danger when her aunt and uncle begged them to see the truth and then took things into their own hands. Ironically, being imprisoned saved their lives when all was lost. 

Lena recounted how Lillian all but disappeared when her father lie sick and dying, leaving a scared child with no understanding of what was happening to her father other than he was too weak to even hold her hand on the rare occasion she was allowed to and taken to see him. 

Lex was the one to tell her he was never coming home again and that it was just them against the world. They remained close even through her boarding school days. And then he started a crusade against Superman and she lost him to twisted anger and obsession. 

They shared all of this and more with lots of hugs, the aforementioned forehead kisses and without judgement or apology for the way those memories made them feel. 

Things are going well until the cracks in Lena’s heart split wide open when she tries to express what Kara’s betrayal felt like to her and how it reinforced what her heart and her Luthor upbringing had trained her to believe the majority of her life and how she felt like Kara just wasn’t hearing her when it came to the role she played.

It’s the third night of Kara’s powers being non existent. Her lip has mostly healed. The white of her left eye is still completely absent and the bruising around it has turned a particularly lovely shade of purple yellow. Her ribs continue to hinder her, both waking hours and whenever she tries to rest and moves the wrong way - which is pretty much every way.

Takeout devoured, they find themselves sequestered on Kara’s couch, Lena sitting behind Kara and squeezing her gently with continued insistence that the compression felt good. 

“Every time I’ve been betrayed, it was because they were choosing something over me. Money. Power. _Love_. Friendship. No one ever chooses me. I survived that over and over again. Until you. Because I believed you when you said you’d never hurt me. I thought _finally_ someone chose me. And the fact that it was you?” Lena pauses to shake her head in regret. She still felt like a fool. 

“That day? Lex showed me evidence of you using super powers. My whole world collapsed. Everything I thought I had in you? Every friend I thought I gained? They were all tied to you. None of it was true and I lost everything that mattered to me.”

“But? I _did_ choose you. I didn’t want to lose you because of who I am. Every choice I made, no matter how selfish, was with the idea that it was to protect you and keep you _because I want you._

“I don’t think you fully understand the danger you’re in because you know I’m Supergirl. Alex had J’onn mind wipe the DEO so my identity would be safe from President Baker and Col. Haley. The government, steered by Lex, was using Truth Seekers to gain my identity. If that doesn’t scare the shit out of you, it should.

“My sister, Lena. It was too dangerous for Alex to know who I was and for months she had no idea that the nuisance she worked with and hated was me. Everyone at the DEO who knew my secret risked their minds and their memories to keep me safe. To keep _themselves_ and their loved ones safe.

“If I had the choice between being Supergirl and having powers that I never asked for, or having you, I choose you. Every time,” Kara argues. Not defensive, just passionate about her feelings. “And it kind of.. no. It really pisses me off that you’re just disregarding that we **were and are** your friends. You didn’t have to know my secret to be one of us and to be included. We love you either way.”

“Again, Kara. You had all the choices to make. You set the narrative, had all the power to direct how I felt and you took those choices from me. You keep overlooking that fact. 

“Let’s not forget you’re the most recognized hero in the world, Supergirl. Why would you choose me over that?”

“Because I only want to be yours,” Kara barks out, her hands held in front of her in a plea for Lena to just understand because the answer was that obvious. 

She realizes by Lena’s silence it’s not obvious at all. She twisted around to see Lena, ignoring her angry innards screaming in protest. That won’t stop her from trying to convince her. 

“I wanted to keep being the Kara you could rely on. Your hero. Your Kara. Your best friend and hopefully more. Yours.” She holds the position for as long as she can before she’s short of breath and forcing herself not to grunt in pain as beads of sweat pop out along her hairline. 

“Lie back,” Lena instructs, grabbing the bottle of pain killers off the coffee table before helping get Kara back into a comfortable position. She knew Kara was trying to cut back on how many pain pills she took a day because they made her tired and cranky. Unfortunately, Kara was kind of a dumbass when it came to letting herself heal instead of putting unnecessary stress on her injuries. 

She’s also not sure she believes Kara. 

If she’d made that declaration before Lex got to her, she probably, no, _definitely_ would have been over the moon. But now, it just felt like damage control and she hates that she feels that way.

“Take this.” She held a pill out for Kara to take, but she stubbornly refused. “You’re in pain. It’s going to get worse and then you’re going to wish you’d taken it sooner,” Lena reasoned. “Please? I don’t like seeing you in so much pain. There’s no point to prove by refusing to take one.”

“Fine,” Kara grumbled, taking the proffered pill and tossing it back with a few sips of water from the bottle between her knees. 

“I don’t know what you want me to do,” Kara blew out a frustrated breath but was much calmer in general. “I don’t know what to say that I haven’t already said or expressed that makes you believe how sorry I am or how heartbroken I am for hurting you. I’m trying to own my mistakes and take responsibility but I don’t know what that looks like to you. Tell me what to do and I’ll do it. Just tell me that it’s going to be enough. 

“If you need me keep trying, I’ll do it. I’m not going away and I hope you won’t push me away again because I don’t think that’s what you really want. But maybe it is? Please.. tell me how I can make this better,” Kara begs, losing hope by the second. “You literally said my words mean nothing to you.”

“I -,” Lena’s words falter with one squeaky exhalation. It’s too much. She can’t think clearly. She can’t swallow it down and communicate what she needs when she doesn’t even know herself. She needs and wants Kara. That’s all she knows for certain. 

But in what capacity, she doesn’t have a clear answer. She wants her as a whipping girl. Silent and obedient and taking her wrath without complaint. She wants her fighting for her. Yelling until she’s blue in the face trying to get through to her. She wants Kara to hold her down while she comes to terms with the ugliness in her life that left her powerless and spinning out of control and lashing out at everyone. 

She wants to pound her fists against Kara’s chest until she can’t raise her arms anymore. She wants Kara to help her brush the pain off and plant her back on solid feet again and show her how to lean into what’s already happened and weather that storm. And gods.. she wants Kara to love her so hard physically, emotionally, sexually and however else she can have it that she can’t see straight. 

She just can’t find the words that will make it past her own defenses.

She’s been Lex’s sister and Lillian’s bastard and Kara’s clueless disciple. She’s been her own worst nightmare, too. But she doesn’t recognize any of those strangers anymore. 

She pushes on Kara’s shoulders until there’s enough room for her to wiggle out from under her and stands. Kara watches with big, watery eyes and she knows she’s expecting the worst. 

“I need to go. I’m not running,” much. “I just need some time. Please let me have it without making me feel worse than I already do for needing it.”

She can see how much Kara is holding back. Debating the merit of pushing back or letting Lena have space. 

In the end Kara thinks she needs to stop taking Lena’s choices away, because Lena’s heartbreak proves she really doesn’t know what’s best. Lena didn’t have to forgive her right away. Or ever. Lena didn’t have to let her back in. Her apology and justification could be as heartfelt and genuine as anyone could ever wish for - but Lena still didn’t owe Kara anything. Mostly, she just didn’t want Lena to hate herself so much. 

She climbs unsteadily to her feet but doesn’t make any move to get closer to Lena who seems frozen on the spot, just as curious what Kara will attempt to say or do as Kara is. 

In the end, she does step close. Not enough to touch, though the heat between them is readily apparent, but close enough that Kara can lean forward and kiss Lena’s cheek goodbye. “Take all the time you need.” She doesn’t bother to ask if she’ll see Lena tomorrow, or that weekend or even the next week. She already knows the answer and doesn’t like it, but respects Lena’s decision.

“Kara,” Lena starts, wringing her hands so she doesn’t reach out and touch her. “The things I’ve done -“

“You can come back from. You don’t need my forgiveness. You need yours,” Kara calmly interrupts. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’ll pretty much overlook all of it as long as you take responsibility for it and don’t do it again.”

It’s the right answer. But it still manages to make Lena feel like shit. Maybe because she’s never been held to those standards before. She has Kara’s faith, love and support in spite of the damage she’s done.

If she were facing a Luthor, she’d be ridiculed. Belittled for having emotions and laughed at for failing and reminded of it every chance they got. Had she succeeded, they would have complained it could have been better and should have happened sooner. 

No matter what she did as a Luthor, she couldn’t win. No matter what she did as Lena, Kara never viewed or treated her as a failure. Even when they disagreed. 

She had to do better. And she couldn’t do that by staying in the perfect bubble being near Kara created. 

“Stay safe,” Lena requested, finally allowing her hands to drop to her side. 

She could see Kara’s jaw clench momentarily before she gave her a slight nod. “You too.”

There’s a moment where both their gazes drop to their lips, both wanting to kiss the other goodbye and knowing it would break them if they did. 

“I promise it’s not goodbye,” Lena lingered when she should have just left. 

“Sure,” Kara gives her a pained smile with false confidence, the pout of her lips giving away how little confidence she really felt.

Kara remained standing after Lena turned and walked out the door, unsure what to do or feel next. She hoped that Lena would turn around and come back. But she didn’t. 

There was a text the following Tuesday, breaking radio silence. 

_Good to see Supergirl back on the job!_

Kara smiled at the text. She’d zoomed past L Corp in pursuit of an alien threat and noticed Lena at her desk. She was surprised, but pleased to hear from her. 

When her powers returned the day after Lena left her apartment, she’d be lying if she said the first thing she didn’t do was hover outside Lena’s penthouse. Far out of view to the naked eye, but close enough for Kara to see that Lena was hard at work on something. She’d also be lying if she said she didn’t check in on Lena at least three times a day. Usually she found her at work, sometimes home, but often she had to listen for her heartbeat to determine her location and more often than not, she found her in the lab. In the coming weeks there would even be a few times she hadn’t found her at all and assumed she was away on business. But never overnight. She always returned to National City the same day.

 _Feels good to be seen!_ She lobbed back at Lena. The message registered as delivered and then read a few seconds later, but no further reply came. Her elation deflated and it was back to business once more. 

There was a spike in alien activity, while human crimes decreased sharply. The humans seemed more concerned with rebuilding and recouping after the crisis while aliens arrived to test what kind of mayhem would be tolerated. Kara found herself busy the next few weeks but learned from Alex that Lena had been to see her a few times. 

She asked Alex how she could legally go about confessing to the crimes committed when she tried to carry out Non Nocere. Alex told her that her confession, while dubiously appreciated, wouldn’t be admissible due to Eve’s very detailed statement and admittance of guilt. 

Lena returned the following week to convince Alex that an artificial intelligence she created had taken over Eve and she wanted to remove it from her and answer for her own crimes. It had taken a couple of long weeks in her lab, but she’d figured out how to safely remove Hope with minimal risk to her host. 

That had certainly heightened Alex’s distrust of Lena and set off a heated squabble between the two as Alex picked Lena and her actions apart, shaming her for betraying Kara and making her an unwitting accomplice and how she had made the right call in piggybacking Kara’s signal into Lex’s bunker to sabotage her launch of Myriad. 

Lena pointed out the hypocrisy in using Kara to deliver the virus and that collectively, they were no better than Kara’s mother using her as bait to lure Astra in. 

Alex was surprised Kara shared that experience with Lena and couldn’t deny they all had done stupid thing with good intentions and none of them could claim innocence. 

She returned a third time when Alex had tried to find a way to prove Lena’s claims about Eve’s essence being overwritten by an AI. There was some unusual brain activity picked up during a required medical evaluation that indicated Lena was telling the truth, but nothing concrete. As long as Hope was claiming to be Eve, she was found competent and they had to abide by her right to not see Lena, nor be subjected to further testing. 

Alex was miffed that Lena was seemingly getting away with her crimes. She wasn’t all that unhappy that Eve or Hope or whomever the hell she was was behind bars due to her role alongside Lex but in her mind, Lena should have the cell next to her.

When all was said and done, Alex had every reason to vilify Lena and Lena had every reason to never trust Alex again. But Alex could admit that not only confessing her plans but also trying to take responsibility took a lot of guts and it was not the Luthor way. 

These were not the actions of someone that couldn’t be saved.

Kara believed in Lena. Still. And although she had her own misgivings, she could see that Lena was trying. That had counted for everyone else that Kara had faith in and it wasn’t fair to hold Lena to an impossible standard. She’d had enough of that for a lifetime. 

“I got lost, Alex. I’m trying to find my way back,” Lena explained at one point.

“I miss you,” Alex blurted out during Lena’s last visit. “We all miss you,” she added penitently. 

Lena was visibly surprised but not unpleased to hear Alex reinforce what Kara told her. 

“I miss you, too.”

“You should come around. For game night. It’s at J’onn’s this week. You should come,” Alex repeated. 

Lena smiles sadly. She really did miss those times. But she had to make things right with Kara before she could let herself be included again. 

“I appreciate the invite. More than you know, Alex,” Lena began. 

“But you’re not coming,” Alex summed up, unsurprised. 

“No. Not until things are settled with Kara.”

“Seemed pretty settled the night you took her home and stayed for two days,” Alex smiles casually. “You don’t have to be friends with Kara to be friends with the rest of us. After you broke up with James, you were both still welcome,” she pointed out. 

Dammit. This is what she needed Alex to say, so why did it hurt so much to hear now?

“I didn’t know you didn’t know that, or I would have said something sooner.” It seemed Kara wasn’t the only Danvers that could read her mind. 

“Thank you for saying it now.”

Six weeks after she left Kara standing stiffly beside her beloved couch, Lena returned. It was after ten on a Friday night and she’d just finished meeting with project managers and city planners to complete the next stage in rebuilding the city. She was happy to provide materials and equipment at a drastically reduced rate as well as her own time and talents to help restore the place she called home. This was home. Because Kara was here. And she really needed to see her best friend. 

She’s had time to process. Time to find a therapist two states away where the Luthor name meant nothing who she saw three times a week thanks to her auto piloted jet. She also had access to the doctor via video conference if something came up between appointments. 

She had time to think and act and heal and learn new habits about how she viewed herself. 

She’s not perfect. Not by a long shot. But she’s got glue filling some of the deeper cracks and she’s hoping Kara is still willing to be around her while she fills in the rest. 

Bag of takeout Chinese in hand, she knows she’s taking a chance on Kara even being home. She’s kept up with the news, knows that Kara and her team have been working round the clock lately so she’s very happy when the door cracks open and before her stands a sleep tousled, but breathtakingly gorgeous Kara. She worries that if it were physically possible to burst at the seams with happiness, Kara was in danger of it.

“You were sleeping. I’m so sorry,” Lena apologizes profusely, only now registering how late it was. “I’ll come back tomorrow.”

Kara smiles widely, making grabby hands at the bag of food _and_ her. “Get in here.” She grabs the food and captures Lena’s hand and pulls her inside. She’s still pulling Lena along when she drops the food off at her kitchen island then turns to Lena and hugs her off her feet. 

Lena squawks as dignified as possible when her feet are dangling in the air but happily throws her arms around Kara’s neck and shoulders and smashes the side of her face against Kara’s. She’s glad Kara doesn’t have her glasses on, because she’s pretty sure that would’ve hurt otherwise.

As it was she’s laughing now as Kara sets her down and attacks her face with multiple playful kisses. “I missed you soooo much,” Kara happily tells her and gradually the kisses slow down and become tender and true. “So much,” she repeats, much softer. Lena starts kissing her back and it’s not long before they find one another’s lips and this kiss is not like any other kiss they’ve shared. 

It is not innocent. It is not chaste. 

It is desperate and chaotic and sweet and sensual and Kara and Lena have no doubt as far as first kisses go in new relationships, this one is miles above every other. Kara’s hands touch her face reverently at first, then slide into her hair for something more primal while Lena’s hands roam over Kara’s shoulders and back and hips, squeezing and clawing and longing to feel Kara against her for as long as either are willing. 

“Glad to see we’re still kissing ‘hello’,” Lena observes, smiley and breathless from the kiss that seemed to last both forever and not nearly long enough. She’s glad for Kara’s continued close proximity as she’s sure without it, her knees would give out and she’d faceplant gracefully on Kara’s kitchen floor. 

Kara tips her head back to giggle. Her hands have fallen to Lena’s waist where she finds evidence her favorite CEO is more delicate than the last time she’d held her. She takes a good look at Lena now and while she’s easily the most beautiful woman Kara’s ever seen, she also detects the puffiness around her eyes and the dark circles carefully concealed by makeup and knows Lena hasn’t been getting the rest she needs either. Kara was more than happy to tackle and remedy both issues. 

The other thing she notices is the eye contact Lena makes with her. Her eyes no longer flit away guiltily as they did after Kara revealed her identity. There’s a confidence and kindness and awareness in the way Lena’s looking at her now that she’s so happy to see. Whatever Lena’s been doing, it’s working for her. 

She darts in and gives Lena one more kiss (because she can) before she casually and effortlessly lifts her up and sets her on the stool in front of the island. “Eat,” she instructs a minute later, providing Lena with a plate and fork so she can dig into the bounty she brought over. 

Lena smiles and does just that, digging into the steamed rice first before adding a little of each dish she brought over. 

Satisfied that she’s eating, Kara moves to the refrigerator to fetch something to drink. She calls out to Lena what’s available and is unsurprised when Lena chooses juice over wine and everything else. 

Kara places a full glass in front of Lena and takes a seat across from her, loading up her own plate. 

They can’t stop smiling. Alex would be very annoyed. 

“Kara? Why do you have pink grapefruit juice?” Lena eyed her curiously, taking a satisfying swallow of the tart beverage. “You don’t like it.”

“Because it’s mean,” Kara glares at the glass in front of Lena as if it personally offended her and insulted her mother.

“The juice is mean?” Lena fights off a smirk, but arches an eyebrow, waiting for clarification.

“And rude,” Kara adds.

It’s all Lena can do to keep from laughing at Kara’s ridiculousness. “So why do you have it?”

Kara blushes and quickly looks down at her plate. “Because you like it,” she shrugs.

Oh. That shouldn’t have released a flock of butterflies in her tummy. But it did. 

“I wanted to have it on hand for when you, you know, came back.”

BashfulKara may be one of Lena’s favorite looks. She reaches across the island, holding out her hand for Kara to take, which she immediately does, holding it between them while they finish their dinner. 

A little later, Lena finishes rinsing off their dishes and sticking them in the dishwasher before she turns to Kara. “I should go. It’s getting late,” she says softly, drying her hands on one of the kitchen towels. 

“No.” Kara reaches out and plucks the towel out of her hands, tossing it on the counter. She replaces the cloth with her own hands, walking backwards and pulling Lena along with her. 

“No?” Lena questions with adoring suspicion, allowing Kara to lead her. Who was she kidding? She’d follow Kara anywhere.

“No,” Kara confirms. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed that you’ve lost weight and you’re not getting enough rest. Now, do you want a bath or shower before I put you to bed?”

Lena gulps reflexively and then sends Kara her scariest withering glance knowing Kara saw and was suppressing the urge to tease her. 

Kara is completely unfazed by the look.

“No thank you,” she replies. 

“Footrub? Massage?” Kara offers next and goodness, just the thought of Kara’s hands on her is enough to make her heart pound.

“Maybe next time,” Lena negotiates, her hands falling to her sides when Kara drops them to search a drawer for something for her to sleep in. There’s no sense in rushing what was happening between them. Plus, she was rather enjoying Kara looking at her freely in a new and altogether non-platonic way. She knows she’s seen it in passing before. But it’s unwavering and steady now. She was perfectly aware she was looking at Kara the same.

“Go get changed,” Kara directs her, pressing a kiss to Lena’s temple as she hands off some sleepwear. 

Lena returns scrubbed free of makeup, smelling of Kara’s toothpaste and fabric softener from the freshly laundered jersey she wore that was long enough to mostly cover her butt. 

“No pants, huh?” Kara teased, not knowing that Lena almost never wore them to bed normally. She favored silky nightgowns that felt nice sliding across her skin, if anything. 

“Leg prisons,” she reminds, halting in front of Kara. “We have a lot to discuss tomorrow,” Lena informs her Kryptonian solemnly. 

“I’ll be here,” Kara promises, tugging Lena into a long hug. Lena releases a deep breath, grateful to exhale much of the stress and tension she’s been carrying for far too long. Kara’s arms tighten around her the more she burrows into her and she doesn’t mind at all that the only reason they’re still standing is because Kara’s a formidable (yet toasty warm) brick wall. Her legs certainly aren’t contributing anything. 

When they eventually separate, Kara straightens the bedding rumpled from her slumber before Lena arrived and pats the dark haired beauty’s bottom. “C’mon. To bed with you.”

Lena crawls under the covers, watching Kara watch her. Kara starts to tuck the covers around her and that raises a curious eyebrow. “What are you doing?”

“Tucking you in?” Kara answers with a question. 

Lena gets the distinct impression that Kara was not planning on sharing the bed with her. This is of course, unacceptable. “Kara. Get in the bed.”

Let it never be said Kara was slow to follow direction... when she liked where it was heading. In a flash, she’s crawling over Lena to get to the other side. Lena rolls over to sleep on her tummy, her head turned towards Kara while Kara is a side sleeper and scoots closer. 

They’re back to smiling at each other again and it’s impossible for Kara to go more than two seconds without touching Ms Luthor because she reaches out and brushes a few strands of unruly hair away from Lena’s face before tracing her hand over proud shoulders and a strong back. She glides up and down Lena’s back while she watches her eyelids grow heavier and heavier. 

“Kara,” Lena whispers her name with such longing that Kara is powerless to stop herself from moving even closer. 

“I know,” Kara answers, pleased when Lena takes the lead in kissing her this time. Lena kisses her top lip, then her bottom lip before teasing her mouth open and brushing her tongue against Kara’s. Things escalate quickly after that and there’s a shift in power depending on who’s on top as they roll around together unhurried and unrushed. 

“I love the way you kiss me,” Kara confesses, her voice breathy and high with desire as Lena teases her bottom lip. 

“How do I kiss you?” Lena wonders, her own voice evidence of how much passion and heat there is between them. She clamps down on a spot between Kara’s ear and neck and the corresponding moan from Supergirl spreads heat down her spine. 

Dimly. Sluggishly. Regretfully. She knows they need to slow down, but it’s hard to do when the most beautiful woman in multiple universes is writhing beneath you, drunk on the pleasure just your kisses are giving her. 

“Like you never wanna stop,” Kara whispers on a sigh. Lena holds her hands down on either side of her head and she threads their fingers together, moving and stretching her neck to give Lena direct access to her pulse point. Belatedly, she realizes that Lena’s has somehow dialed back her kisses and while she hates to admit it, she’s grateful. 

Sure. Going any further physically with Lena right now would be phenomenal. There’s no question of that. But it would rush them from one set of problems to another and she was really content to take things slow(ish) and grow together with the gorgeous woman in her bed.

As long as they kept talking, kept communicating and kept growing together, they would get it right this time.


End file.
